Another one of my fond memories of college (snr. high). As you can tell from my lack of posting, these memories are hard to come by. I think they are being buried under the copious amount of alcohol that is being forced into my being.
In good ole NZ, baseball isn't popular, at ALL. Yet for some reason, softball is perfectly aye oh kay, but still is just a muck around sport and isn't as high profile as rugby, cricket or netball.
So, nice sunny day, and gym class, and our gym teacher is trying to teach us the finer points of this intricate game, I missed those points as I was daydreaming on 3rd base thinking this is way better than maths. (I actually caught a softball to the side of my head for my troubles, REALLY daydreaming).
Anyway, one of our mates, Andy, (a very very competitive and sporting bloke, a mans man if you would (well, we weren't exactly men yet) is backstop, and so far doing a fine job, but then it wasn't exactly difficult seeing that it was a 'girl' pitcher. No wind-up, just a simple lob, so the softball wasn't exactly sailing in a direct straight line into Andy's mitt, but more of a parabolic arc.
Another girl in batting, and so Andy is making some mocking comments, and taunting our pitcher to 'fire it in here'. She lobs, batter swings, total miss and the ball bounces on the ground and up into Andy's mitt.
Strike 1.
Andy fires the ball back to the pitcher, trying to display his sporting prowess.
Pitch 2, same thing, nice slow lob in the air, the batter again with a big swing completely misses the ball, and again the ball bounces on the ground and up into Andy's......BALLS!
Cue EVERYBODY laughing their guts out as Andy falls over on the ground from his crouching position, cuddling his bruised manhood.
Andy quickly recovers, being the man that he is, and again, fires the ball back to the pitcher "I'm ok" he grunts, "Comon, pitch it harder!"
Everybody is encouraging the pitcher to in-fact, pitch it harder, but alas, her pitch is still the same soft lob to the batter. Again the batter makes a big swing, but she is getting better as this time she manages to nick the ball. The ball flies off the bat at 5000% of it's incoming speed.
The ball now like a bullet shoots INTO the ground, and it BOUNCES straight back up into Andy's BALLS!
"THUUUUUUUUDD" "UUGGGNNNNHHHHHH"
This time Andy really does collapse on the ground and EVERYBODY is crying from laughter. Andy now retires from backstop and we're all too scared to take his place.
Gotta love gym class :)
